This year I have been challenged - daily - to grow into the woman I know I am capable of being. In less than eight months, I went from birthing my baby at home during a pandemic lockdown, to speeding out the door (sometimes girls in tow) to get to campus. J-School is not how I envisioned maternity leave…
Dressed in white, standing waist deep in a community pool, I made the first major adult decision that changed the course of my life. It was June 2007 when I decided to be baptized and officially become a Christian. The second major adult decision was marrying my husband. This decision resulted in not only becoming a wife, but a mother. With so much at stake and a lot to sacrifice, I decided to bet on myself once and for all. My third major adult decision came…
In these times of uncertainty, we can easily become swept up in the fear and panic swirling around us. But, we must remember we are currently living out history. While we are always future ancestors, this particular moment will be marked in history. Which has raised these questions for me – how will we remember and be remembered for this time?
When I learned I was pregnant, I did not feel blessed right away. But I knew, that regardless of how I felt about my pregnancy (which was unexpected) or the gender of my child (I wanted a boy), I was privileged. Not only to be with child, but with the honor of birthing and raising a black child. With the current ways of the world, being black can be challenging. But with the way my ancestry is set up, being black is a blessing.
If the me 12 months ago could see the me now, she would be (in two words or less), beside herself. I have journeyed these last 12 months toward this point in my life with a new understanding, open eyes, and a healed heart. On this day 12 months ago, Reynold and I celebrated two months as newlyweds.
In early celebration, I may have indulged in one too many glasses of prosecco so I was not feeling too well that morning. But, I had a strong inclination it could be something more that left me feeling off kilter. And with bated breath (how cliché right), I purchased a pregnancy test and a package of mints (hopefully the cashier wouldn’t notice), and headed home with a Popeyes lunch (because fried chicken makes everything better).
In these times of uncertainty, we can easily become swept up in the fear and panic swirling around us. But, we must remember we are currently living out history. While we are always future ancestors, this particular moment will be marked in history. Which has raised these questions for me – how will we remember and be remembered for this time?
For the past eight months I have been working very closely with an amazing group of women to develop not only my spiritual life and well-being but my overall development. Being in this group has challenged me to confront things about my life and self in this transition and season of becoming the woman God has called me to be right now.
I had a very telling experience in our most recent meeting. After being told to take out one item at random from our purses, we were then told to share what God was telling us about ourselves and season in that moment with that item. Seems easy? It forced me to come face to face with an wrong ideology I had been holding on to for too long - self-care is indulgent.
