When I learned I was pregnant, I did not feel blessed right away. But, I knew regardless of how I felt about my pregnancy (which was unexpected) or the gender of my child (at first I wanted a boy), I was privileged. Not only to be with child, but with the honor of birthing and raising a black child. With the ways of the world, being black can be a challenge. But, with the way my ancestry is set up, being black is a blessing.
So, while the world may be at the ready to do otherwise, even before my daughter was born, I was committed to speaking life into and over her.
I would caress my bump with a tenderness I still practice when I soothe my girl. I’ve always wanted her to know she has a home in my arms. But, the larger lesson I am charged to impart to her is she will always be at home in her body, so she must always be at peace with herself.
““You will always be at home in your body, so you must always be at peace with yourself.””
Black women and black womanhood is constantly under siege. Each day our bodies are policed and our minds are attacked. We are in constant warfare. And if we are fighting a war, I am called to equip my girl with the tools to fight; fight a system, fight a mindset, and on those rough days maybe even fight herself. The most powerful tool I have found is the tongue.
I believe in the power of words. I believe at our core we are creators because we are a reflection God. I believe as such we can create good or bad with our words. And so, I know our tongues are powerful instruments.
It is one thing for me to instill power to my daughter through words. It is monumentally greater when she can do it for herself. That is why each night, after bath and before bed, my girl is placed on the bathroom sink, face parallel to mine, and says her affirmations.
Admittedly, Momo felt strange doing this. And with her vocabulary bound by age, it was challenging for her to state her affirmations with clarity. But, within the first week of regularly practicing her affirmations, her confidence soared.
Each night, we state 7 affirmations. They are:
1. I am strong
2. I am brave
3. I am loved
4. I am smart
5. I am blessed
6. I am beautiful
7. I am important
Momo’s loves it! She especially loves “I am beautiful”. Her hand immediately shoots up to run her fingers through her hair as a grin spreads across her face. It takes less than 60 seconds to practice, but to see her light up and in action is worth more than all the words combined.
What makes this practice even more empowering, is when she gets down from that bathroom sink and steps away from the mirror, she puts these affirmations into action.
Find Momo pulling something too heavy for her small but mighty arms? You can tell her no, but assuredly she will say “no Mama, I strong.”
Is that Momo girl counting to 10? Before you can clap for her, she claps for herself saying “I smart.”
Getting homegirl ready in her favorite princess dress? Bet, she is going to run her hands over her dress and say confidently “I beautiful.”
And as my eyes well, as if on cue, it is in these moments I reap the reward of motherhood. It is in these moments I know the ancestors are somewhere smiling. And in these moments, I feel privileged. Privileged to know I have given my daughter the greatest gift a mother can give and that is, self-love.