For the past eight months I have been working very closely with an amazing group of women to develop not only my spiritual life and well-being but my overall development. Being in this group has challenged me to confront things about my life and self in this transition and season of becoming the woman God has called me to be right now.

I had a very telling experience in our most recent meeting. After being told to take out one item at random from our purses, we were then told to share what God was telling us about ourselves and season in that moment with that item. Seems easy? It forced me to come face to face with an wrong ideology I had been holding on to for too long - self-care is indulgent.

For the past year and a half, more specifically the past eight months, I have been struggling in the area of self-care. The irony is I can tell everyone else how important taking care of themselves is because I am a firm believer that empty cups can’t pour.

Yet, for myself, I made weak excuses as to why I was so unable to do things to take care of me. Things as necessary as caring for my hair became a burdened task. Now. all naturalistas know how daunting of a task it can be to wash out hair. However, it is necessary and you can only put it off for so long, and in the name of transparency there were times where I went six weeks without doing much to my hair. That is NOT okay. It is not honourable to myself, my body, my health, my hair (she’s her own being and she didn’t take well to the disrespect).

When my husband would make mention of me needing to care for myself simply because, I brushed it off and in that time I didn’t know why. Upon self- reflection I realized I did not value myself as important enough for something I perceived as being indulgent like self-care. I didn’t realize that self-care is not indulgent it is NECESSARY! Self-care is necessary.

Which leads me to my next point. Taking care of yourself is not only necessary, it is honourable. It is honourable to me - my personhood, my body, my overall well-being. It is honourable to those closest to me - particularly my husband. In taking care of myself I am able to show him that I see my own worth and the old adage of you can’t love someone till you love yourself is applicable here. Taking care of me shows him I can take care of him too. And last, and most important for me is, self-care is honourable to God. How? I am respecting the temple He has given me and where Holy Spirit resides. Taking care of myself honours the body He gave me, made in His image.

Being pride filled in self-care (take that as you will), is NOT honourable, is not necessary, and IS indulgent. It can look like making certain aspects of self-care take priority over your finances, responsibilities, and commitments.

With the new realization that self-care is healthy and honourable, and that I am deserving and worthy of such respect, I have committed myself to doing one small thing to take care of myself daily. This can look like making sure I am drinking enough water, going for a stress-relieving walk, making my bed, or wearing mascara to feel a little more special.

I want you to see your worth. I want you to know you’re important. I want you to love yourself as much as I love you. I am trying and I want you to try too. I challenge you to ask yourself each day for one week “how can I love myself a little more today?”. Let me know some ways you’ll be taking on this challenge and your results in the comments below, by tweeting at me @alyestal, or sharing a picture on Instagram and tagging me @alyestal.